GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED;
1] Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2] Wrinkles don't hurt.
3] Families are like fudge.... mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4] Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5] Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6] Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
SUMMARY OF LIFE ...part 2
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD.
1] Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2] Forget the health food, I need all the preservatives I can get.
3] When you fall down,you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4] You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.
5] It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you
6] Time may be a great healer, but its a lousy beautician.
7] Wisdom comes with age, but sometime age comes alone.
If you "tear up" go ahead, who's watching?
In Calgary , Alberta a 26-year-old mother stared down at her 6 year old son,
who was dying of terminal leukemia.
Although her heart was filled with sadness, she also had a strong feeling of determination.
Like any parent, she wanted her son to grow up & fulfill all his dreams. Now that was no longer possible.
The leukemia would see to that. But she still wanted her son's dream to come true.
She took her son's hand and asked, 'Billy, did you ever think about what you wanted to be once you grew up?
Did you ever dream and wish what you would do with your life?'
Mommy, 'I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up..'
Mom smiled back and said, 'Let's see if we can make your wish come true.'
Later that day she went to her local fire Department in Calgary, where she met Fireman Bob,
who had a heart as big as Alberta
She explained her son's final wish and asked if it might be possible to give her 6 year-old son
a ride around the block on a fire engine.
Fireman Bob said, “Look, we can do better than that. If you'll have your son ready at seven o'clock
Wednesday morning, we'll make him an honorary Fireman for the whole day.
He can come down to the fire station, eat with us, go out on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards!
And if you'll give us his sizes, we'll get a real fire uniform for him, with a real fire hat -
not a toy - one with the emblem of the Calgary Fire Department on it, and a yellow slicker
like we wear and rubber boots.”
“They're all manufactured right here in Calgary , so we can get them fast.”
Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Billy, dressed him in his uniform and escorted him from
his hospital bed to the waiting hook and ladder truck.
Billy got to sit on the back of the truck and help steer it back to the fire station. He was in heaven.
There were three fire calls in Calgary that day and Billy got to go out on all three calls.
He rode in the different fire engines, the Paramedics’ van, and even the fire chief's car.
He was also videotaped for the local news program. Having his dream come true,
with all the love and attention that was lavished upon him, so deeply touched Billy, that he lived
three months longer than any doctor thought possible.
One night all of his vital signs began to drop dramatically and the head nurse,
who believed in the hospice concept (that no one should die alone), began to call
the family members to the hospital. Then she remembered the day Billy had spent as a fireman,
so she called the Fire Chief and asked if it would be possible to send a fireman in uniform
to the hospital to be with Billy as he made his transition.
The chief replied, “We can do better than that. We'll be there in five minutes.
Will you please do me a favor?
When you hear the sirens screaming and see the lights flashing, will you announce
over the PA system that there is not a fire? It's the department coming to see one of
its finest members one more time. And will you open the window to his room?”
About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital and extended
its ladder up to Billy's third floor open window. 16 fire-fighters climbed up the ladder into Billy's room.
With his mother's permission, they hugged him and held him and told him how much they LOVED him.
With his dying breath, Billy looked up at the fire chief and said, “Chief, am I really a fireman now?”
“Billy, you are. And The Head Chief, Jesus, is holding your hand.” The Chief said with those words,
Billy smiled and said, “I know, He's been holding my hand all day, and the angels have been singing.”
He closed his eyes one last time.
This story is powerful and there is nothing attached.
Uplifting stories are one of the best gifts we receive.
There is no cost, but a lot of rewards, let's continue to uplift one another.
This is a true story.
This is a new one. People sure stay busy
Trying to cheat us, don't they?
A friend went to the local gym and placed his belongings in the locker.
After the workout and a shower,
he came out, saw the locker open, and thought to himself,
'Funny, I thought I locked the locker...
Hmm, 'He dressed and just flipped the wallet to make sure all was in order.
Everything looked okay - all cards were in place...
A few weeks later his credit card bill came - a whooping bill of $14,000!
He called the credit card company and started yelling at them,
saying that he did not make the transactions.
Customer care personnel verified that there was no mistake in the system
and asked if his card had been stolen...
'No,' he said, but then took out his wallet, pulled out the credit card,
and yep - you guessed it - a switch had been made.
An expired similar credit card from the same bank was in the wallet.
The thief broke into his locker at the gym and switched cards.
Verdict: The credit card issuer said since he did not report the card missing
earlier, he would have to pay the amount owed to them.
How much did he have to pay for items he did not buy?
$9,000! Why were there no calls made to verify the amount swiped?
Small amounts rarely trigger a 'warning bell' with some credit card companies.
It just so happens that all the small amounts added up to a big one!
A man at a local restaurant paid for his meal with his credit card.
The bill for the meal came, he signed it and the waitress folded the
receipt and passed the credit card along.
Usually, he would just take it and place it in his wallet or pocket.
Funny enough, though, he actually took a look at the card and, lo and behold,
it was the expired card of another person.
He called the waitress and she looked perplexed.
She took it back, apologized, and hurried back to the counter under the
watchful eye of the man.
All the waitress did while walking to the counter was wave the wrong expired card to the
counter cashier, and the counter cashier immediately looked down and took out the real card.
No exchange of words --- nothing! She took it and came back to the man with an apology..
Verdict: Make sure the credit cards in your wallet are yours.
Check the name on the card every time you sign for something and/or the card is taken
away for even a short period of time.
Many people just take back the credit card without even looking at it, 'assuming' that it has to be theirs.
FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, DEVELOP THE HABIT OF CHECKING YOUR CREDIT CARD EACH
TIME IT IS RETURNED TO YOU AFTER A TRANSACTION!
Yesterday I went into a pizza restaurant to pick up an order that I had called in.
I paid by using my Visa Check Card which, of course, is linked directly to my checking Account.
The young man behind the counter took my card, swiped it, then laid it on the counter as he
waited for the approval, which is pretty standard procedure.
While he waited, he picked up his cell phone and started dialing.
I noticed the phone because it is the same model I have, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
Then I heard a click that sounded like my phone sounds when I take a picture.
He then gave me back my card but kept the phone in his hand as if he was still pressing buttons.
Meanwhile, I'm thinking: I wonder what he is taking a picture of, oblivious to what was really going on.
It then dawned on me: the only thing there was my credit card, so now I'm paying close attention to
what he is doing..
He set his phone on the counter, leaving it open.
About five seconds later, I heard the chime that tells you that the picture has been saved.
Now I'm standing there struggling with the fact that this boy just took a picture of my credit card.
Yes, he played it off well, because had we not had the same kind of phone,
I probably would never have known what happened.
Needless to say, I immediately canceled that card as I was walking out of the pizza parlour.
All I am saying is, be aware of your surroundings at all times.
Whenever you are using your credit card take caution and don't be careless.
Notice who is standing near you and what they are doing when you use your card.
Be aware of phones, because many have a camera phone these days.
Never let your card out of your sight.....check and check again!
Scary isn't it.....
When a soldier comes home, he finds it hard....
..to listen to his son whine about being bored.
....to keep a straight face when people complain about potholes.
To be tolerant of people who complain about the hassle of getting ready for work.
...to be understanding when a co-worker complains about a bad night's sleep.
..to be silent when people pray to God for a new car.
...to control his panic when his wife tells him he needs to drive slower.
..to be compassionate when a businessman expresses a fear of flying.
....to keep from laughing when anxious parents say they're afraid to send their kids off to summer camp.
....to keep from ridiculing someone who complains about hot weather.
....to control his frustration when a colleague gripes about his coffee being cold.
....to remain calm when his daughter complains about having to walk the dog.
.....to be civil to people who complain about their jobs.
....to just walk away when someone says they only get two weeks of vacation a year.
....to be forgiving when someone says how hard it is to have a new baby in the house.
The only thing harder than being a Soldier..
Is loving one.
And Our Aussie Mates. Always There.
We "Band of Brothers".
Stay with this -- the answer is at the end... It will blow you away.
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother
About current events.
The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought
About the shootings at schools, the computer age, and
Just things in general.
The Grandmother replied, "Well, let me think a minute,
I was born before:
' polio shots
' frozen foods
' contact lenses
' Frisbees and
' the pill
There were no:
' credit cards
' laser beams or
' ball-point pens
Man had not yet invented:
' air conditioners
' clothes dryers
' and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and
' man hadn't yet walked on the moon
Your Grandfather and I got married first, and then lived together.
Every family had a father and a mother.
Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, "Sir."
And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man
With a title, "Sir."
We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.
Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense.
We were taught to know the difference between right and
Wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was
A bigger privilege.
We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.
Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with
Draft dodgers were those who closed front doors as the
Evening breeze started.
Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the
Evenings and weekends not purchasing condominiums.
We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CD's, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing
We listened to Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our Wireless (radios).
If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk.
The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.
Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.
We had 5 &10-cent (5 and dime) stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.
Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel.
And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter
and 2 postcards.
You could buy a new Ford Coupe for $600, but who could
Afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.
In my day:
' "grass" was mowed,
' "coke" was a cold drink,
' "pot" was something your mother cooked in and
' "rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
' "Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office,
' "chip" meant a piece of wood,
' "hardware" was found in a hardware store and.
' "software" wasn't even a word.
We were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby.
We volunteered to protect our precious country.
No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap.
How old do you think I am?
Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.
Are you ready?????
This woman would be only 61 years old.
She would have been born in late 1952.
GIVES YOU SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.
PASS THIS ON TO THE OTHER (OLD ONES.)
BECAUSE THE YOUNG ONES WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT
by Robert Peterson
She was six years old when I first met her on the beach near where I live.
I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles, whenever the world
begins to close in on me. She was building a sand castle or something
and looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea.
"Hello," she said.
I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child.
"I'm building," she said.
"I see that. What is it?" I asked, not really caring.
"Oh, I don't know, I just like the feel of sand."
That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my shoes.
A sandpiper glided by.
"That's a joy," the child said.
"It's a what?"
"It's a joy. My mama says sandpipers come to bring us joy."
The bird went gliding down the beach. Good-bye joy, I muttered to myself,
hello pain, and turned to walk on. I was depressed, my life seemed completely
out of balance.
"What's your name?" She wouldn't give up.
"Robert," I answered. "I'm Robert Peterson."
"Mine's Wendy... I'm six."
She giggled. "You're funny," she said.
In spite of my gloom, I laughed too and walked on.
Her musical giggle followed me.
"Come again, Mr.. P," she called. "We'll have another happy day."
The next few days consisted of a group of unruly Boy Scouts,
PTA meetings, and an ailing mother. The sun was shining one morning as I took my
hands out of the dishwater. I need a sandpiper, I said to myself, gathering up my coat.
The ever-changing balm of the seashore awaited me..
The breeze was chilly but I strode along, trying to recapture the serenity I needed.
"Hello, Mr. P," she said. "Do you want to play?"
"What did you have in mind?" I asked, with a twinge of annoyance.
"I don't know. You say."
"How about charades?" I asked sarcastically.
The tinkling laughter burst forth again. "I don't know what that is."
"Then let's just walk."
Looking at her, I noticed the delicate fairness of her face.
"Where do you live?" I asked.
"Over there." She pointed toward a row of summer cottages.
Strange, I thought, in winter.
"Where do you go to school?"
"I don't go to school. Mom my says we're on vacation"
She chattered little girl talk as we strolled up the beach, but my mind was on other things.
When I left for home, Wendy said it had been a happy day. Feeling surprisingly better,
I smiled at her and agreed.
Three weeks later, I rushed to my beach in a state of near panic.
I was in no mood to even greet Wendy. I thought I saw her mother on the porch
and felt like demanding she keep her child at home.
"Look, if you don't mind," I said crossly when Wendy caught up with me,
I'd rather be alone today." She seemed unusually pale and out of breath.
"Why?" she asked.
I turned to her and shouted, "Because my mother died!" and thought,
My God, why was I saying this to a little child?
"Oh," she said quietly, "then this is a bad day."
"Yes," I said, "and yesterday and the day before and -- oh, go away!"
"Did it hurt?" she inquired.
"Did what hurt?" I was exasperated with her, with myself.
"When she died?"
"Of course it hurt!" I snapped, misunderstanding,
wrapped up in myself. I strode off.
A month or so after that, when I next went to the beach, she wasn't there.
Feeling guilty, ashamed, and admitting to myself I missed her, I went up to the cottage
after my walk and knocked at the door. A drawn looking young woman with
honey-colored hair opened the door.
"Hello," I said, "I'm Robert Peterson. I missed your little girl today
and wondered where she was."
"Oh yes, Mr. Peterson, please come in. Wendy spoke of you so much.
I'm afraid I allowed her to bother you. If she was a nuisance, please,
accept my apologies."
"Not at all! she's a delightful child." I said, suddenly realizing
that I meant what I had just said.
"Wendy died last week, Mr. Peterson. She had leukemia
Maybe she didn't tell you."
Struck dumb, I groped for a chair. I had to catch my breath.
"She loved this beach, so when she asked to come, we couldn't say no.
She seemed so much better here and had a lot of what she called happy days.
But the last few weeks, she declined rapidly..." Her voice faltered, "She left something for you,
if only I can find it. Could you wait a moment while I look?"
I nodded stupidly, my mind racing for something to say to this lovely young woman.
She handed me a smeared envelope with "MR. P" printed in bold childish letters..
Inside was a drawing in bright crayon hues -- a yellow beach, a blue sea,
and a brown bird. Underneath was carefully printed:
SANDPIPER TO BRING YOU JOY.
Tears welled up in my eyes, and a heart that had almost forgotten to love opened wide. I
took Wendy's mother in my arms. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry,"
I uttered over and over, and we wept together. The precious little picture is fr
and hangs in my study. Six words -- one for each year of her life --
that speak to me of harmony, courage, and undemanding love.
A gift from a child with sea blue eyes and hair the color of sand
-- who taught me the gift of love.
NOTE: This is a true story sent out by Robert Peterson.
It happened over 20 years ago and the incident changed his life forever.
It serves as a reminder to all of us that we need to take time to enjoy living
and life and each other. The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.
Life is so complicated, the hustle and bustle of everyday traumas can make
us lose focus about what is truly important
or what is only a momentary setback or crisis..
This week, be sure to give your loved ones an extra hug,
and by all means, take a moment... even if it is only ten seconds,
to stop and smell the roses.
This comes from someone's heart, and is read by many
and now I share it with you..
May God Bless everyone who receives this! There are NO coincidences!
Everything that happens to us happens for a reason. Never brush aside anyone as insignificant. Who knows what they can teach us?
I wish for you, a sandpiper.
The girl with the apple
August 1942. Piotrkow, Poland
The sky was gloomy that morning as we waited anxiously. All the men, women
and children of Piotrkow's Jewish ghetto had been herded into a square. Word
had gotten around that we were being moved. My father had only recently died
from typhus, which had run rampant through the crowded ghett o. My greatest
fear was that our family would be separated. 'Whatever you do,' Isidore, my
eldest brother, whispered to me, 'don't tell them your age. Say you're
'I was tall for a boy of 11, so I could pull it off. That way I might be
deemed valuable as a worker.
An SS man approached me, boots clicking against the cobblestones. He looked
me up and down, and then asked my age.
'Sixteen,' I said. He directed me to the left, where my three brothers and
other healthy young men already stood.
My mother was motioned to the right with the other women, children, sick and
I whispered to Isidore, 'Why?'
He didn't answer.
I ran to Mama's side and said I wanted to stay with her.
'No, 'she said sternly.
'Get away. Don't be a nuisance. Go with your brothers.'
She had never spoken so harshly before. But I understood: She was protecting
me. She loved me so much that, just this once, she pretended not to. It was
the last I ever saw of her.
My brothers and I were transported in a cattle car to Germany.
We arrived at the Buchenwald concentration camp one night later and were led
into a crowded barrack. The next day, we were issued uniforms and
'Don't call me Herman anymore,' I said to my brothers. 'Call me 94983.'
I was put to work in the camp's crematorium, loading the dead into a
I, too, felt dead. Hardened, I had become a number.
Soon, my brothers and I were sent to Schlieben, one of Buchenwald 's
sub-camps near Berlin.
One morning I thought I heard my mother's voice.
'Son,' she said softly but clearly, I am going to send you an angel.'
Then I woke up. Just a dream. A beautiful dream.
But in this place there could be no angels. There was only work. And hunger.
A couple of days later, I was walking around the camp, around the barracks,
near the barbedwire fence where the guards could not easily see. I was
On the other side of the fence, I spotted someone: a little girl with light,
almost luminous curls. She was half-hidden behind a birch tree.
I glanced around to make sure no one saw me. I called to her softly in
German. 'Do you have something to eat?'
She didn't understand.
I inched closer to the fence and repeated the question in Polish. She
stepped forward. I was thin and gaunt, with rags wrapped around my feet, but
the girl looked unafraid. In her eyes, I saw life. < br>
She pulled an apple from her woollen jacket and threw it over the fence.
I grabbed the fruit and, as I started to run away, I heard her say faintly,
'I'll see you tomorrow.'
I returned to the same spot by the fence at the same time every day. She was
always there with something for me to eat - a hunk of bread or, better yet,
We didn't dare speak or linger. To be caught would mean death for us both.
I didn't know anything about her, just a kind farm girl, except that she
understood Polish. What was her name? Why was she risking her life for me?
Hope was in such short supply, and this girl on the other side of the fence
gave me some, as nourishing in its way as the bread and apples.
Nearly seven months later, my brothers and I were crammed into a coal car
and shipped to Theresienstadt camp in Czechoslovakia .
'Don't return,' I told the girl that day. 'We're leaving.'
I turned toward the barracks and didn't look back, didn't even say good-bye
to the little girl whose name I'd never learned, the girl with the apples.
We were in Theresienstadt for three months. The war was winding down and
Allied forces were closing in, yet my fate seemed sealed.
On May 10, 1945, I was scheduled to die in the gas chamber at 10:00am.
In the quiet of dawn, I tried to prepare myself. So many times death seemed
ready to claim me, but somehow I'd survived. Now, it was over.
I thought of my parents. At least, I thought, we will be reunited.
But at 8am there was a commotion. I heard shouts, and saw people running
every which way through camp. I caught up with my brothers.
Russian troops had liberated the camp! The gates swung open. Everyone was
running, so I did too. Amazingly, all of my brothers had survived;
I'm not sure how. But I knew that the girl with the apples had been the key
to my survival.
In a place where evil seemed triumphant, one person's goodness had saved my
life, had given me hope in a place where there was none.
My mother had promised to send me an angel, and the angel had come.
Eventually I made my way to England where I was sponsored by a Jewish
charity, put up in a hostel with other boys who had survived the Holocaust
and trained in electronics. Then I came to America, where my brother Sam had
already moved. I served in the US Army during the Korean War, and returned
to New York City after two years.
By August 1957 I'd opened my own electronics repair shop. I was starting to
One day, my friend Sid who I knew from England called me.
'I've got a date. She's got a Polish friend. Let's double date.'
A blind date? Nah, that wasn't for me. But Sid kept pestering me, and a few
days later we headed up to the Bronx to pick up his date and her friend
I had to admit, for a blind date this wasn't so bad. Roma was a nurse at a
Bronx hospital. She was kind and smart. Beautiful, too, with swirling brown
curls and green, almond-shaped eyes that sparkled with life.
The four of us drove out to Coney Island. Roma was easy to talk to, easy to
be with. Turned out she was wary of blind dates too!
We were both just doing our friends a favour. We took a stroll on the
boardwalk, enjoying the salty Atlantic breeze, and then had dinner by the
shore. I couldn't remember having a better time.
We piled back into Sid's car, Roma and I sharing the backseat.
As European Jews who had survived the war, we were aware that much had been
left unsaid between us. She broached the subject, '
'Where were you,' she asked softly, 'during the war?'
'The camps,' I said. The terrible memories still vivid, the irreparable
loss. I had tried to forget. But you can never forget.
She nodded. 'My family was hiding on a farm in Germany, not far from
Berlin,' she told me. 'My father knew a priest, and he got us Aryan papers.'
I imagined how she must have suffered too, fear, a constant companion. And
yet here we were both survivors, in a new world.
'There was a camp next to the farm.' Roma continued. 'I saw a boy there and
I would throw him apples every day.'
What an amazing coincidence that she had helped some other boy. 'What did he
look like?' I asked.
'He was tall, skinny, and hungry. I must have seen him every day for six
My heart was racing. I couldn't believe it. This couldn't be.
'Did he tell you one day not to come back because he was leaving Schlieben?'
Roma looked at me in amazement. 'Yes!'
'That was me!'
I was ready to burst with joy and awe, flooded with emotions. I couldn't
believe it! My angel.
'I'm not letting you go.' I said to Roma. And in the back of the car on that
blind date, I proposed to her. I didn't want to wait.
'You're crazy!' she said. But she invited me to meet her parents for Shabbat
dinner the following week.
There was so much I looked forward to learning about Roma, but the most
important things I always knew: her steadfastness, her goodness. For many
months, in the worst of circumstances, she had come to the fence and given
me hope. Now that I'd found her again, I could never let her go.
That day, she said yes. And I kept my word. After nearly 50 years of
marriage, two children and three grandchildren, I have never let her go.
Herman Rosenblat of Miami Beach, Florida.
This story is being made into a movie called The Fence. This email is
intended to reach 40 million people world-wide. Join us and be a link in the
memorial chain and help us distribute it around the world.
1) You can't count your hair.
2) You can't wash your eyes with soap.
3) You can't breathe when your tongue is out.
Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person.
Ten (10) Things I know about you:
1) You are reading this.
2) You a re human.
3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.
4) You just attempted to do it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.
10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.
You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys
removed by black-market organ thieves.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago.
I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick.
The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal.
Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?
I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.
Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.
And then the thieves struck again.
My bu m was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took
pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with
earlier. But my new bu m was attached at least three inches lower
than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favour
of long skirts.
Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I
was drying my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper
arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was
really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time.
What could they do to me next?
When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a
turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world wake up
and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL
replacement body parts -stolen from you and me! The next time
someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?
THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.
WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my Boobs. I was lying
in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was
relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I
slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
Thought this was too 'important' not to pass on
Have a wonderful day - with a joy filled heart
BTW - These same thieves come in my closet and shrank my clothes!
How do they do it????
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help.
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
THEN YOU ARE PROBABLY THE FAMILY DOG !
It was one of the hottest days of the dry season.
We had not seen rain in almost a month. The crops were dying.
Cows had stopped giving milk. The creeks and streams were long gone
back into the earth. It was a dry season that would bankrupt several farmers
before it was through.
Every day, my husband and his brothers would go about the arduous process
of trying to get water to the fields. Lately this process had involved taking a
truck to the local water rendering plant and filling it up with water.
But severe rationing had cut everyone off. If we
didn’t see some rain soon...we would lose everything.
It was on this day that I learned the true lesson of sharing
and witnessed the only miracle I have seen with my own eyes.
I was in the kitchen making lunch for my husband and his brothers
when I saw my
Six-year-old son, Billy, walking toward the woods.
He wasn't walking with the usual carefree abandon of a youth
but with a serious purpose.
I could only see his back. He was obviously walking with a great effort ...
trying to be as still as possible. Minutes after he disappeared into the woods,
he came running out again, toward the house.
I went back to making sandwiches; thinking that whatever task he had been
doing was completed. Moments later, however, he was once again
walking in that slow purposeful stride toward the woods.
This activity went on for an hour: walking carefully to the woods,
running back to the house.
Finally I couldn't take it any longer and I crept out of the house and
followed him on his journey (being very careful not to be seen...
as he was obviously doing important work and didn't need
his Mommy checking up on him).
He was cupping both hands in front of him as he walked,
being very careful not to spill the water he held in them ...
maybe two or three tablespoons were held in his tiny hands.
I sneaked close as he went into the woods.
Branches and thorns slapped his little face, but he did not try to avoid them.
He had a much higher purpose. As I leaned in to spy on him,
I saw the most amazing site.
Several large deer loomed in front of him. Billy walked right up to them.
I almost screamed for him to get away.
A huge buck with elaborate antlers was dangerously close.
But the buck did not threaten him...he didn't even move as Billy knelt down.
And I saw a tiny fawn lying on the ground;
obviously suffering from dehydration and heat exhaustion,
lift its head with great effort to lap up the water cupped in my beautiful boy's hand.
When the water was gone, Billy jumped up to run back to the house and I hid behind a tree.
I followed him back to the house to a spigot to which we had shut off the water.
Billy opened it all the way up and a small trickle began to creep out.
He knelt there, letting the drip, drip slowly fill up his makeshift "cup,"
as the sun beat down on his little back.
And it came clear to me: The trouble he had gotten into for playing with the hose
the week before. The lecture he had received about the importance of not wasting water.
The reason he didn't ask me to help him. It took almost twenty minutes
for the drops to fill his hands. When he stood up and began the trek back,
I was there in front of him.
His little eyes just filled with tears. "I'm not wasting," was all he said.
As he began his walk, I joined him...with a small pot of water from the kitchen.
I let him tend to the fawn.
I stayed away. It was his job. I stood on the edge of the woods watching the most
beautiful heart I have ever known working so hard to save another life.
As the tears that rolled down my face began to hit the ground, other drops...
and more drops...and more suddenly joined them. I looked up at the sky.
It was as if God, himself, was weeping with pride.
Some will probably say that this was all just a huge coincidence.
Those miracles don't really exist. That it was bound to rain sometime.
And I can't argue with that... I'm not going to try.
All I can say is that the rain that came that day saved our farm...
just like the actions of one little boy saved another.
I don't know if anyone will read this...but I had to send it out.
To honor the memory of my beautiful Billy, who was taken from me much too soon...
But not before showing me the true face of God, in a little, sunburned body.
I ,__________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth grade biology
if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
Glass of wine
Chicken fried steak
Cup of tea
It should be presumed that I won't ever get better.
When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person
and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes,
let the 'fat lady sing,' and call it a day!
Let's have a Drink IT'S 5 O'CLOCK SOMEWHERE
I went to a dinner party last night, where I and other guests enjoyed
copious amounts of alcohol. I awoke this morning not feeling well, with what
could be described as flu-like symptoms; headache, nausea, chills, sore eyes etc.
From the results of some initial testing, I have unfortunately tested
positive for what experts are now calling Wine Flu. This debilitating condition
is very serious and it appears this is not an isolated case.
Reports are flooding in from all around the neighbourhood of others
diagnosed with Wine Flu.
To anyone that starts to exhibit the aforementioned tell-tale signs,
experts are recommending a cup of tea and a bit of a lie down.
However, should your condition worsen, you should immediately hire a DVD
and take some Nurofen [Nurofen seems to be the only drug available that has
been proven to help combat this unusual type of flu]. Others are reporting a
McDonald's Happy Meal can also help in some cases.
Wine Flu does not need to be life threatening, and if treated early can
be iradicated within a 24-48 hour period. If not, then further application
of the original liquid in similar quantities to the original dose has been
shown to do the trick.
A good laugh for people in the over 60 group!
When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the
30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music,
takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter.
I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids,
their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate
with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as
Twitter with only 140 characters of spaces
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the
details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation.
I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost
every now and then going over to the grocery store or library.
I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone
I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at
Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards
was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside
that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time.
Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating."
You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me.
She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light.
Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship...
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell
her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone
as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how
to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years
but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once
and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms,
and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that
was going on. So he sent an angel to Earth for a time.
When the angel returned, he told God, 'Yes, it's bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving
and only 5% are not.
God thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I'd better send down a 2nd angel
to get another opinion.' So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time.
When the angel returned, he said to God, 'Yes, it's true. The
Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good.' God wasn't pleased.
So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good because he wanted to encourage them
and give them something to help them keep going.
Do you know what the e-mail said?
Okay; I was just wondering because I didn't get one either.
By Pam Ayres of course..
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view)
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left ti t!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one!!
Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.
Everything I need to know,
I learned from Noah's Ark ..
ONE: Don't miss the boat.
TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat!
THREE : Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask
you to do something really big.
FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with
the job that needs to be done.
SIX: Build your future on high ground.
SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage.
The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.
TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
ELEVEN: No matter the storm, there's always a rainbow waiting.
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house --.
Mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room or whatever.
You are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint.
You have your old work clothes on.
You know the outfit -- shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from
who-knows-what and an old pair of tennis shoes.
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you
need to run to Bunnings to get something to help complete the job.
Depending on your age you might do the following:
In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes.
Check yourself in the mirror and flex.
Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes.
You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair.
Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell.
The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.
Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands.
Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Bunnings.
Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.
The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.
In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt.
Change shoes because you don't want to get dog crap in your new sports car.
Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat.
The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it.
Then you remember the hat you have on is from Gold Coast's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.'
In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore.
Hose the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's.
You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.
The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.
In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Bunnings until the Chemist has your presc
Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes.
The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize your balls are hanging out the hole in your crotch.
In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again.
Now you remember you need to go to Bunnings.
Go to KMart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for.
Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name.
You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.
In your 90's & beyond:
What's a bundings ? Something for my garden?
Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this?
Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?
It doesn’t matter how many times I receive this one, it brings a tear to my eyes and I have to pass it on.
A drunk man in an Oldsmobile
They said had run the light
That caused the six-car pileup
On 109 that night.
When broken bodies lay about
And blood was everywhere,
The sirens screamed out eulogies,
For death was in the air.
A mother, trapped inside her car,
Was heard above the noise;
Her plaintive plea near split the air:
Oh, God, please spare my boys!
She fought to free her pinned hands;
She struggled to get free,
But mangled metal held her fast
In grim captivity.
Her frightened eyes then focused
On where the back seat once had been,
But all she saw was broken glass and
Two children's seats crushed in.
Her twins were nowhere to be seen;
She did not hear them cry,
And then she prayed they'd been thrown free,
Oh, God, don't let them die!
Then firemen came and cut her loose,
But when they searched the back,
They found therein no little boys,
But the seat belts were intact.
They thought the woman had gone mad
And was travelling alone,
But when they turned to question her,
They discovered she was gone.
Policemen saw her running wild
And screaming above the noise
In beseeching supplication,
Please help me find my boys!
They're four years old and wear blue shirts;
Their jeans are blue to match.
One cop spoke up, They're in my car,
And they don't have a scratch.
They said their daddy put them there
And gave them each a cone,
Then told them both to wait for Mom
To come and take them home.
I've searched the area high and low,
But I can't find their dad.
He must have fled the scene,
I guess, and that is very bad.
The mother hugged the twins and said,
While wiping at a tear,
He could not flee the scene, you see,
For he's been dead a year.
The cop just looked confused and asked,
Now, how can that be true?
The boys said, Mommy, Daddy came
And left a kiss for you.
He told us not to worry
And that you would be all right,
And then he put us in this car with
The pretty, flashing light.
We wanted him to stay with us,
Because we miss him so,
But Mommy, he just hugged us tight
And said he had to go.
He said someday we'd understand
And told us not to fuss,
And he said to tell you, Mommy,
He's watching over us.
The mother knew without a doubt
That what they spoke was true,
For she recalled their dad's last words,
I will watch over you...
The firemen's notes could not explain
The twisted, mangled car,
And how the three of them escaped
Without a single scar.
But on the cop's report was scribed,
In print so very fine,
An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.
He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare.
This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven,
He saw me, and he asked: 'My child, what is your greatest wish for
I responded: 'Lord please, take care of the person who is reading
this message, their family and their special friends.
They deserve it and I love them very much. '
This bit of information has been passed on to me, it may be of help....
Difference between http and https-- GREAT information!
Once in a while, there is something that comes down
the pike that is of real importance.
What is the difference between http and https?
Don't know how many of you are aware of this
difference, but it is worth sending to any who do not.
The main difference between http:// and https:// is it's
all about keeping you secure. HTTP stands for
Hyper Text Transfer Protocol.
The S (big surprise) stands for "Secure." If you visit a
website or web page, and look at the address in the web
browser, it will likely begin with the following:http:///.
This means that the website is talking to your browser
using the regular "unsecured" language. In other words, it is possible for someone to "eavesdrop" on your computer's conversation with the website. If you fill out a form on the website, someone might see the information you send to that site.
This is why you never ever enter your credit card number
in an http website! But if the web address begins with
https://, that basically means your computer is talking to
the website in a secure code that no one can eavesdrop on.
If a website ever asks you to enter your credit card
information, you should automatically look to see if the
web address begins with https://.
If it doesn't, you should NEVER enter sensitive information...
....such as a credit card number, SS #, etc.
PASS IT ON (You may save someone a lot of grief)
Previous PostsSummary of Life, posted August 5th, 2014, 3 comments
THIS IS A TRUE STORY AS A FEW MILLION PEOPLE WATCHED IT ON GLOBAL NEWS, posted July 24th, 2014, 3 comments
New way of STEALING..., posted July 24th, 2014, 1 comment
WHEN A SOLDIER COMES HOME, posted July 19th, 2014
HOW OLD IS GRANDMA, posted June 10th, 2014, 3 comments
THE SANDPIPER, posted June 6th, 2014, 4 comments
THE GIRL WITH THE APPLE, posted May 26th, 2014
IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD;, posted May 6th, 2014, 3 comments
This is very scary - so please be on guard at all times!!, posted April 3rd, 2014
THIS IS LIFE, posted March 21st, 2014, 2 comments
An Outback Story......, posted December 13th, 2013
LAST WILL!!, posted December 10th, 2013, 1 comment
WINE FLU, posted December 10th, 2013
Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!, posted December 3rd, 2013
E-MAIL FROM GOD, posted December 3rd, 2013
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view), posted September 26th, 2013
Noah's Ark :, posted September 6th, 2013
A Man's Age -- as Determined by a Trip to Bunnings, posted January 21st, 2013
This is beautiful please read, posted January 19th, 2013, 2 comments
Difference between http and https, posted December 17th, 2012, 2 comments
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY!!!, posted November 9th, 2012
The Blue Rose, posted September 21st, 2012
Put me in charge . . . Written by a 21 year old female, posted March 30th, 2012
a point well made., posted February 12th, 2012, 2 comments
An Aussie out-house!!!, posted February 10th, 2012
We didn't have the green thing back in our day., posted January 27th, 2012
Very Important ....especially for those who love to cook and eat ONIONS!!!!!! (by author unknown ), posted June 30th, 2011, 1 comment
Bring back any memories?, posted November 28th, 2010, 1 comment
If it's true, great stuff!!!!!, posted November 6th, 2010
When you thought I wasn't looking, posted September 28th, 2010, 5 comments
The Divorced Barbie Doll, posted September 16th, 2010, 9 comments
Doctor Appointments....., posted September 2nd, 2010, 3 comments
A BED FOR THE NIGHT....., posted August 1st, 2010, 1 comment
MY WISH LIST...., posted July 18th, 2010, 3 comments
PLEASE EXCUSE THE PUN, posted July 18th, 2010, 2 comments
This information will only take a few minutes to share might prevent the senseless death of other pets., posted July 15th, 2010
WHO'S THE GREATEST?, posted July 14th, 2010
No Matter What Happens...., posted July 13th, 2010
DID YOU KNOW...part2, posted July 11th, 2010
DID YOU KNOW...[ part1], posted July 9th, 2010, 4 comments
4th JULY, posted July 4th, 2010, 1 comment
KOSI BAY or BUST: South Africa, posted June 27th, 2010
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine..., posted June 18th, 2010
To the Memory of Two Australian Soldiers who lost their Lifes for the World., posted June 8th, 2010
ROSES & HANGING BASKETS, posted June 2nd, 2010
STROKE IDENTIFICATION:, posted May 27th, 2010, 3 comments
Jessica comes HOME, posted May 14th, 2010
Aussie Poem, posted May 13th, 2010
TORNADO.., posted May 12th, 2010
"Mila", our baby Elephant., posted April 25th, 2010
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